An open Christmas letter to my youngest daughter

Hi Reese,

 

First off, your mother and I love you very much — just as we love your sister Jennifer and your brother Sam.  I’m sure you already know this, but I thought I should begin with that.  You are a smart, happy young lady, who’s equally content playing dress-up as you are running around with your brother and the boys in the neighborhood.  That ability will serve you well later in your life.

 

You recently asked me a very interesting question:  What happened to the happy feelings everyone had when Barack Obama became president? 

When this picture was taken, people were actually nice to one another!

 

One of the reasons I wanted you to attend Obama’s inauguration was so that you could be a part of an historic event — arguably, the most historic event in my lifetime.  I realize you’re only 6 years old, but I think you’re old enough to understand that you don’t have to LIKE everyone, but you need to RESPECT everyone.  And by that, I mean “courtesy” — which, unfortunately, isn’t so common anymore.  Whenever you see your mother or me watch “Keith Olbermann,” “Bill O’Reilly,” “Real Time with Bill Maher,” or even “The Daily Show,” you see people yelling, screaming, and fighting.  You’ve heard rude talk on the sports talk radio stations I listen to, and the pregame shows I watch.  You’ve witnessed rude talk at the baseball stadium.  You’ve watched yelling on commercials for “Cheaters,” “Jerry Springer,” and “Dr. Phil.”  And, you definitely saw it on all the negative political ads during election season.  Most of the time, the discussion is not even that important; the parties involved are simply focused on winning.  Unfortunately, that’s what our society teaches:  it’s more important to BE right than to DO right.

 

It gets a lot more complicated when it comes to the animosity towards President Obama.  Some shows don’t even refer to him as the president, or even Mr. Obama.  They’ll simply call him “Obama” or “Barack” or, sometimes — when they really want to make a point — “Barack Hussein Obama” (with the emphasis on his middle name).  When referring to his political standing, they are quick to call him “liberal” or “socialist” (one guy even called him prejudiced against White people!) — because they can’t call him what they’d really like to call him.  Actually, honey, I wish they would:  because it would provide clarity to people your age on the nature of America’s true attitudes towards race.  Even people who desire to truthfully deal with racism may not fully understand enough about the institution’s impact on today’s society in order to have a revealing, healing dialogue. 

 

(Note to reader:  The purpose of this blog is precisely that:  to foster a ‘sacred conversation‘ on the topic of race and multiculturalism.)

 

For our country to get back to the optimism and compassionate atmosphere we witnessed in Washington D.C. on that cold, January 2009 weekend, we all need to refresh ourselves on the racial dynamic that has been in place in this country since the British colonies were established over 400 years ago.  Last year, I began a personal campaign to transform myself into the person I most want to be, by adopting the Christmas spirit year-round.  I wanted you and your brother to not only witness random acts of kindness to strangers; I wanted YOU to perform them too.  Whenever we go somewhere, I not only give homeless people money, I talk with them.  When we go out to eat, we let you guys give the tip.  You’ve seen us volunteer for community service, and have done some community service work yourselves.  We’ve even paid for another person’s meal at a restaurant anonymously; remember when we went to IHOP, and I let YOU pick the person?

 

Alex Waller, an extremely brilliant young man from our church, wrote a devotional message this week on being a ‘hero.’  I think you are well on your way to becoming a heroine – if, for no other reason, for asking the question in the first place, because you really want to be part of the answer.  I want those “inauguation happy feelings” back just as much as you do.  What we experienced during President Obama’s inauguration — people being pleasant, compassionate, courteous towards one another — tells us that it’s possible for us as a collective culture to behave as Jesus teaches in the scriptures we study on Sundays.  Apparently, the hard part for most of us is to sustain that attitude.  As hard as I try, I know I fail in sustaining that attitude.  I suspect it’s as difficult for most grownups, because we are so focused on the realities of life that we occasionaly succumb to the societal concept of being right (winning) over doing right (compassion). The good news:  you, and the rest of your generation, have the chance — a realistic chance – to avoid placing people in a racial box, as a precursor to how you relate to that person.  

 

As you know, Reese, you are biracial…just like the president.  As hard as the world will try to force you to select “African-American” as your racial identity (some will just call you that anyway), you do NOT have to choose.  You can embrace your entire ancestry — which is much, much more than Black and White.  More importantly, you can choose to see everyone else as…just people.  If you can do that, then you can keep the spirit of Christmas alive for the rest of your life.  After all, the man whose birthday we recognize on December 25 lived so that he could save everyone:  all races, all genders, all faiths, all economic classes. 

 

Merry Christmas, Punkin!

 

Love always,

 

Dad

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Tags: Christmas, courtesy